


playing the game

by sluttyten



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bathroom Sex, Blow Jobs, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oral Sex, Slow Burn, gamer Taeyong, side JohnJae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 17:29:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15393774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sluttyten/pseuds/sluttyten
Summary: taeyong's been your best friend for a few years now, but sometimes it gets a little hard to just be his friend. you're at university and there's no better time to blur that line between friends and a little bit more, to make your lives just that much more messy.





	playing the game

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda decided to combine a few requests into one, just because they seemed like they'd all fit together and to knock 4 requested scenarios off my list.
> 
> ps. also posted on my tumblr [here](https://sluttyten.tumblr.com/post/175723017624/uni-au-taeyong)

Lee Taeyong was not the fuckboy he wanted everyone to think he was. Sure, he strode around campus looking “fresh” and “fly” (both were exact words he’d used to describe himself to you in the past), and he flirted with just about every single person who looked even remotely interested in him. But he wasn’t the stereotypical fuckboy who screws around and gets wasted every weekend of his university experience. He wasn’t mean-hearted, not very interested in the parties in the dorms or the houses just off-campus, and he chose to spend most nights with you.

You met Taeyong on the first day of freshman orientation when everyone is awkward and has no idea what they’re really doing. He was typing away on his phone, his hair hidden beneath a beanie, and his hands swamped by the sleeves of his sweater. He looked, much like you, as if he wanted to be anywhere but sitting in Lecture Hall 4, preparing to be lectured at by the group of student mentors who were still gathering at the front of the hall.

Sometimes after that day you would wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t arrived late and been forced to squeeze into that seat there in the very middle of the room. What if you hadn’t tripped and nearly fallen into Taeyong’s lap and drawn almost every eye in the room to you (except for his because, really, his eyes were just glued to his phone). What if when the time came to be separated into smaller groups, you’d not been stuck with Taeyong and the lanky Bigfoot creature who called himself Johnny.

Maybe then you wouldn’t be guaranteed to be crammed inside their tiny dorm room every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night for the next three years. 

“You know, you do need sunlight every now and then,” You say as you walk into the near darkness of the room. “So much artificial light isn’t good for you.”

Johnny’s hunched over his desk in one corner of the room, headphones on, hands whirring through his music selection as he tries to compose the proper playlist for the school’s 24-hour radio station which he DJs with a rosy-cheeked freshman boy. Johnny doesn’t even acknowledge you as you scoot inside and collapse on Taeyong’s bed.

“We’re not plants. Why do we need sunlight?” Taeyong asks, not peeling his eyes away from the screen where he’s busy obliterating zombies or aliens or whatever it is that his latest gaming obsession does. You stare at his shoulders, highlighted in blue and purple light as the screen glows with an explosion.

“Don’t you have a biology midterm coming up?” You pull a crumpled sheet of paper out from where it’s balled up beneath you, and toss it at the back of Taeyong’s head. “Shouldn’t you be studying instead of whatever that is?”

Taeyong’s answer is only a shrug. 

Of everyone you’ve met since coming to university, these two have managed to become your best friends. Just that one day, the first day, sealed your fate. 

Johnny was the one who decided to stick close to you, somehow deciding that you were too fragile to be left to roam campus alone because there are people bigger than you and stronger than you and night classes can be dangerous. He always picked you up from your night class and walked back to the dorms with you, always smiling and warm, prepared with an umbrella or a hot drink when the weather turned rougher. 

It took a little while longer to get Taeyong to warm up to you. He watched you like he was a skittish cat at first, unsure what to make of your presence and the way that you smiled at him. But then a week after meeting him, you finally saw him without a hat on, and his hot pink mess of hair was revealed. You laughed, and when he self-consciously smashed it down with his hands, you told him that you liked it.

And it was just that easy.

“I don’t need to study.” Taeyong tells you, twisting the controller in his hands. “I know it all.”

You roll your eyes and watch the lights of the game play off the side of his face. “I’m trying to keep you from flunking out. But fine, keep playing your game.”

You kick back on his bed, put your head on his pillow, and reach for the book you left sitting on the bookshelf beside his bed a few days previous. No sooner have you opened the book and flipped to where you left off than Taeyong’s throwing a notebook into your lap.

“What’s this?” You pick it up, consider throwing it back at him, and then notice his familiar scrawl inside the pages of diagrams and charts. 

“Quiz me. I know it all.”

So you do. Taeyong bounces answers back at you without even looking away from the screen. All of them correct. Honestly, it gets annoying the longer it goes because Taeyong can be so effortlessly smart, half-distracted by his video game, but still aceing the questions you give him.

Eventually, you give up. 

“Fine. You win.” 

“I thought that was never going to end.” Johnny stands and stretches, looking over at you on Taeyong’s bed. “I’m going to grab something to eat from the cafeteria. You want anything?” You shake your head no. “Tae?”

Taeyong grunts a negative. 

Johnny pulls on a sweatshirt and leaves the room. You don’t talk for a few moments, just watching Taeyong engrossed in his game, and slowly your eyes wander to the screen. It’s not a game you know much about, although spending so much time with him over the last few years has increased your knowledge about video games.

“Can you teach me how to play?” You propose, climbing off the bed to stand beside Taeyong. 

Finally, he looks away from the screen, blinking up at you as his eyes focus. “What?”

“I’m bored, Tae. My best friend refuses to leave his room, so I have to be here too. Teach me how to play.” You grab one of his arms and tug until he relinquishes his hold on the controller, and you sit down in his lap. “I want to play.”

Taeyong is quiet for a moment, and when you look over your shoulder at him, he’s watching you with a curious look in his eye. Another handful of silent seconds, and then, “Alright.” 

The game isn’t quite what you thought it was. Not all killing things and blowing stuff up. Taeyong reaches around you to hit buttons on the controller when you don’t move fast enough, and the rest of the time he’s hissing instructions in your ear. You don’t even notice how into the game you’re getting until you feel Taeyong’s hand on your hip and his other curls over one of yours on the controller. 

“Y/N.” His voice is low, and you shake yourself out of the video game’s hold, shifting a bit so you can look over your shoulder and see him. Taeyong’s hold tightens minutely. “I’m sorry, can you just…” He nudges you forward.

You stand up, ready to tell him that you’re not going to stop playing while he goes to the bathroom down the hall. But Taeyong doesn’t stand up. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t move except to pull his pillow off his bed into his lap. It takes you a moment to register why he’s done that.

“I’m sorry.” He looks away and hugs the pillow tighter, hiding the boner that’s surely tenting the front of his sweatpants. “I don’t know why I’m–” 

You sit the controller down, feeling your face growing warm. “No, it’s fine. It happens sometimes.”

“To horny pubescent teens.” Taeyong says, and now you can see that he’s blushing. “I just haven’t gotten laid in a while and you kept moving around on me, so I can’t help but react. This is embarrassing.”

It’s not like you’ve never felt his boner before. You’ve spent the night in his bed several times, falling asleep during late nights studying or after getting drunk on the cheap wine Johnny brought home to celebrate his birthday. You’ve woken to the feel of Taeyong cuddling you with his erection against your back, or to him carefully trying to climb over you in his rush to the bathroom down the hall. 

Each of those times you’d either left before he woke or pretended like you were asleep until he came back. Now, you’d either have to leave, knowing that he was going to jerk off as soon as you left the room (and that painted an interesting mental image for you), or you’d stay and wait for it to go away on its own. Either way, this situation wasn’t getting any less weird for the two of you.

But there was always a third option, although you weren’t sure how he’d take it if you were to propose it. So you start out tentatively.

“If you want…” You say quietly. Taeyong’s eyes snap up to yours. You hold his gaze and clear your throat. “If you want, I could suck you off. Just as a one time thing. We never talk about it again. I get you off then we go back to playing this game like nothing ever happened.”

Taeyong searches your face, looking for any weakness, any tell that will let him know that you’re joking. He finds none because you have none to give. You really want to do this, not just because you want to get back to the game, but because there’s a part of you that’s always been curious about Taeyong’s dick in a mostly I’m-just-curious kind of way. 

“Alright.” Taeyong’s fingers clench around the pillow in his lap. “Okay. If you’re sure.” 

You nod.

He watches as you sink to the floor on your knees, both of you holding your breath as if just one noise or fast movement will break this fragile deal. You take the pillow and draw it out of his lap, and now Taeyong has nothing to hold on to, so he just clenches his hands at his sides and watches you.

You touch his leg lightly at first, near his knee. And he twitches just slightly, but when you look up at his eyes, his face all lit in shades of blue and purple and red from the game paused behind you, he nods. You keep touching, trailing your fingers up his thigh until you come in contact with his hardness. 

When you hesitate, Taeyong tells you, “You don’t have to. We don’t have to make this weird, Y/N. Give me five minutes, say all of the nastiest shit you can think of to help me get rid of this, and we’ll pretend like this thing never happened.” 

But in truth, you’re ready for it. Saliva builds up in your mouth. You’re already expecting the weight of a dick on your tongue, down your throat. Taeyong doesn’t need to know just how badly you want this, so you don’t tell him. You just shake your head and reach for the opening in his sweatpants, reaching inside and wrapping your hand around him.

Of course, he’s gone commando. You’d never seen a pair of underwear in his room, so this bit of information doesn’t surprise you. What does surprise you is the way that Taeyong melts as soon as you touch him. His fists fall open and all of his tense muscles relax. It’s like magic, some part of you thinks. And you haven’t even pulled his dick out or put it into your mouth yet.

When you do pull his dick out into the air, you stare at it for maybe a moment too long.

Self-consciously, Taeyong shifts. “Well?” 

You lick your lips and glance up to meet his eyes again. “Just checking to see what I’m working with. You pass.”

Taeyong laughs, and the sound puts both of you a bit more at ease. 

You stroke your hand over his length and then lean forward, shuffling closer on your knees until you’re completely between his legs. You stare at the pretty pink color of his tip as you lower your mouth toward it. He looks soft and cute, and when you close your lips around him and suck, you’re almost surprised that he tastes salty rather than sweet, as pink and delicious as he looked.

And as the heat of your mouth wraps around him, Taeyong drops his head back and moans, low at first, but the farther down his cock your mouth sinks, the higher pitched his moan turns. 

You put one hand on his thigh, rubbing your thumb over the crease where his inner thigh meets his hip. That touch combined with your mouth sucking around him as you pull back up has Taeyong reaching for anything to hold onto. The  _anything_ that he finds is your hair. 

You smile when you feel his fingers tangle in your hair, and he forces your mouth back down on his cock. 

“Shit, this is good.” He moans, fingers massaging against your scalp. 

You gag when he hits the back of your throat, and you pinch Taeyong’s wrist so he’ll release you and you can pull back up for a breath. 

With one hand you tuck your hair back out of your face, and with the other you keep up your attention on his cock. You experiment a bit, going slow and then faster, squeezing around his base then around his tip, tracing the veins with your tongue and then just sucking on his head. It’s all to see what drives Taeyong the most wild. What makes his eyes roll back and his pretty mouth open to let out a curse or your name. 

You quickly find he likes it best when you use your tongue around the tip of his cock and your hand on the rest of him. 

Taeyong’s hand comes down on top of yours on his thigh. His legs twitch in toward you, and he grunts, “I’m going to cum.” 

You sink your mouth over his head and keep pushing until your mouth meets your fingers. You suck and swallow, and suddenly Taeyong’s cumming. Warm cum spills down your throat and you swallow, gagging suddenly around him. You flick your gaze up to his face. You want to see this moment of his pleasure.

His brows are drawn together, mouth fallen half open. As you watch, he bites at his bottom lip, and his moan goes deep again. He pushes his hips up into your mouth once more and then squeezes your hand.

You pull off his cock, swallowing down the taste of cum and trying not to be too put off by the flavor. 

Taeyong stares down at your lips as his cock slips from your mouth.

“You’ve got a little…”

Maybe you do it intentionally just to see his reaction or maybe it’s because it’s the cleanest way to get rid of the cum on your lips, but either way, you lick your lips and run your fingers over your chin, gathering what little cum leaked from your mouth. 

Taeyong’s eyes widen the slightest bit. 

You’ve just settled back on your heels, when you hear the sound of footsteps in the hallway outside and Johnny’s voice calling “I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

There’s just enough time for Taeyong to tuck his dick away and for you to spring to your feet and throw yourself around him to collapse (totally casually) on his bed again. You’ve barely finished arranging yourself when the door opens and Johnny steps inside.

Johnny takes one look between the two of you, the suspiciously suspicious space between you. He shakes his head and throws a candy bar over to Taeyong. “I know you said you didn’t want anything, but that girl Tara almost begged me to give it to you.”

Taeyong’s face flushes and he nods, mumbling something. 

“Got a girlfriend, Tae?” Johnny teases.

“Yeah, right.” You laugh, covering your mouth with your sleeve and hopefully wiping away any remaining evidence. “Who’d want to date our Taeyong?”

 

o 0 o

 

That night wasn’t the last time. Of course it wasn’t.

You’d known Taeyong for three years, so you should have remembered that he didn’t like to be indebted to anyone. Even if it was something as little as someone holding a door open for him, he’d be sure to pay them back in a similar way. 

So giving him head was not something that he would let go without repayment. 

It’s a little less than a week later when you’re sitting in the cafeteria between classes. The cafeteria is fairly busy with lunching students and faculty, hundreds of people sitting around and waiting in line. You’re tucked in a back corner, earphones in, textbook open, food half-eaten.

Taeyong drops into the seat beside you and tugs one of your earphones out and puts it in his ear then reaches for your food.

“I’ve been thinking,” He says, popping one of your chips into his mouth.

“That’s dangerous.” You highlight something in the textbook, not looking up at him. To be honest, looking at him isn’t something you’ve done a lot of since that night. Every time you do something dangerous and sexy sneaks into your mind, preying on your normal thoughts and poisoning them until all you’re thinking of it Taeyong’s cock in your mouth, his cum down your throat, the sight and sound of his orgasm.

He knocks his shoulder into yours. 

You’re about to retaliate and say something like “I’ve had your dick in my mouth, be nice to me” when someone else sits down at your table across from both of you.

A girl is sitting there. She’s pretty, you guess. Waifish, if you had to choose one word to describe her. Blonde and pale and she’s wearing contacts that make her eyes seem an unreal shade of green. She smiles at Taeyong as if you’re not even there.

You jerk your earphone back from Taeyong’s ear, and stuff it back into your own. You crank the volume loud enough that you can’t hear Taeyong’s conversation with the pretty girl. It’s only when he touches your wrist that you even look up from your textbook.

Again, he tugs at your earphones. 

You sigh and pause your music, taking out your earphones so you can hear him. You’re alone now and you’re not sure when the girl left, but you don’t really care either. 

“So, anyway, I was thinking dangerously. About the other night.” His eyes are almost comically wide, deep brown and serious at the moment. His attention shifts between your eyes and your mouth, as if he’s checking for any shame or angry ticks. When he finds none, he continues. “You did me a favor. I should pay you back.”

Up until that moment, you’d forgotten about Taeyong’s thing about owing people. 

You look down at your textbook, feeling the edges of your face starting to heat up with embarrassment. 

“You don’t have to, Tae. Really. Like I said, it was just a one time thing that we never have to mention again.” You tuck your hair back behind your ear. “Yet here you are, mentioning it again.”

He laughs and leans against the table, tapping his fingers against the surface. “I passed that Biology midterm.”

You’re grateful for the change in subject, and you foolishly let yourself believe that’s the end of it. Of course not.

Not even an hour later, after you’ve left Taeyong so you can go to your next class, your phone buzzes with a text from him. 

_from taeyong: the offer still stands. next time you’re feeling a bit hot and bothered and need some relief, you know where to find me_

Your face goes up in absolute flames and you almost drop your phone. The balls on this guy to just say that kind of stuff to you. You take a deep breath and then another, but when you close your eyes, all you see is Taeyong’s dick and now his fingers tapping out their pattern on the table.

That image haunts you for the rest of the day. That night you wake from a dream (halfway a nightmare, halfway a sex dream) where Taeyong’s penis is as tall as he is, and it talks to you (the nightmarish part), but when you kiss it, it shrinks down to his normal size and there you are, once again giving Taeyong a blowjob.

You wake up throbbing, needing to be touched. If your roommate wasn’t sitting awake, binge-studying for her Econ exam, maybe you would have done something about it, but she glanced over when you sat up. By the time your racing pulse settled, you were cursing Taeyong and his damn erection in the first place.

It goes on like this for another two days. Sex dreams at night, ignoring Taeyong’s continued offers of reciprocation by day. 

When the next Friday rolls around, you’re exhausted by him, but you would never miss out on the usual Friday night schedule of sitting on his bed and watching him fuck around.

This time, Johnny’s on his stomach on his bed, watching a movie on his laptop. Taeyong is sitting beside him, legs stretched over Johnny’s back while he plays a game on his phone. 

“Hey,” Johnny calls. “Didn’t Tae tell you what we’re doing tonight?”

You pause halfway in the door. “What?”

“There’s a party that he somehow got us invited to.” Johnny explains. “The most exclusive one of this weekend. And he says that he’s not interested in that Tara girl, but then she does stuff like this for him.” 

While Johnny’s busy rolling his eyes, you look at Taeyong. He’s still playing his game, seemingly not listening to a word that Johnny’s said. 

“I thought you don’t do parties, Tae?” You ask, finally crossing the room to climb onto Johnny’s bed and sit with your back against the wall and legs splayed over his, much like Taeyong is doing. “Why didn’t you just turn it down?”

“He can’t turn down this invitation, Y/N. And even if he could, I wouldn’t let him. I need Taeyong to get me in there for the sake of the radio.” Johnny stops the movie and you can see his face reflected in the screen, the contemplative look on his face. 

“What does this party have to do with your radio thing?” You roll your feet over his thigh, shaking his whole leg. Johnny kicks his leg up as if that’ll do anything to make you stop. “You’re not a gossip radio, so what good is a party. Why can’t we just stay in like normal?”

Taeyong finally sits his phone down. “The  _freshman_  is going to be there.”

Johnny drops his head down into his arms, and from his hiding place comes a muffled, “Stop it.”

“You have a crush on your co-DJ at the radio?” You ask, sitting up, suddenly intrigued because as long as you’ve known Johnny he’d only expressed romantic or sexual interest in one guy, and Ten had fled back home to Thailand two years ago when Johnny expressed how serious he wanted their relationship to be. But now he was into this new guy. “I want to go to this party now. Can I meet the  _freshman?_ ”

“You’re not dressed for a party. You can’t go.” Johnny lifts his head to tell you. And you know he’s right. You came over dressed exactly like you were planning to spend the evening watching Taeyong and Johnny argue about whatever game Taeyong wanted to play. Holey sweatpants and a faded Minnie Mouse t-shirt weren’t exactly clothes to wear to an exclusive party.

“I can improvise.” You struggle to your feet, and then stand there beside the bed, glancing around the room as if you’ll find anything to wear in the mess that your two best friends call a dorm room. “I have to look good if I’ll get to meet the  _freshman_.”

Johnny groans and drops his head into his arms again. “Stop calling him that. It makes me sound like a cradle-robber or something. His name’s Jaehyun. Call him Jaehyun.” 

You catch Taeyong’s eye and grin. 

“We’ll get you that dick, Johnny.” Taeyong pats Johnny’s butt and then crawls over him so he can stand up. “Don’t worry, buddy.”

Half an hour later, your idea of outfit improvisation turned into you borrowing one of Taeyong’s baggy shirts and twisting it into a dress like you’d seen how to make online once. It was a simple and easy solution, and both he and Johnny complimented you when they turned around to see you.

You fold your clothes and leave them sitting on Taeyong’s desk to get later that night, and the three of you leave for the party.

The party’s in one of the houses just off campus property, so Johnny drives. He has to circle the block three times before giving up and parking two blocks away from the house. You pass bunches of other students, hiding what pills they’re popping or whatever they’re smoking as you and Taeyong and Johnny scoot around them. 

The inside of the house is full of already drunk students. Music blares from somewhere deeper in the house, and a loud game of beer pong is set up right there in the entryway. Johnny loops an arm around you and Taeyong and walks deeper into the house, grabbing drinks for each of you along the way. 

“Where’s Jaehyun?” Taeyong shouts at Johnny to be heard over the music.

Johnny points over the crowd to a clear spot where a DJ stands, smiling and talking to a pretty girl. She passes him a drink and he drops his arm over her shoulder and kisses her cheek. You look up at Johnny in time to see the smile slip off his face. 

“Fuck him,” Taeyong says, clapping a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “Let’s get drunk.” 

Johnny seems only too pleased by that idea. You and Taeyong trail him across the room to the kitchen where he fills a glass and drains it immediately. You stand beside Taeyong, your shoulder pressed almost distractingly against his, and watch as Johnny knocks back cup after cup. When he’s got that buzzed glaze over his eyes, he sits the cup down and pushes away from the counter. 

“I’m going to talk to him.” 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” You ask, grabbing his arm. 

Taeyong’s hand curls around your wrist. “Let him go. Johnny knows what he’s doing. He’s not that far gone yet.” So you release Johnny and watch him walk away, squeezing through the crowd, and headed straight for where Jaehyun stands beside his laptop. 

“Now that we’re alone…” Taeyong says, tracing his fingers lightly over your hand. “Maybe you’d like to think about my offer again.”

Your heartrate spikes and you pull your hand away. “Not now, Tae.” 

He folds his arms over his chest and leans back against the countertop. “There is actually an expiration date on the offer of reciprocation.” His gaze runs over you from head to toe. “There’s no way that you’re never horny and how can you be fine with just getting yourself off. You do masturbate don’t you?”

Your face flushes with heat and you push his shoulder. “I’m not talking about this with you. Not here. Not ever.” You start to walk away when he takes your arm again.

“Wait, I’m joking! Please don’t leave, Y/N.” 

You throw his arm away, but lean back against the countertop beside him. You fill a cup and pass it over, then fill one for yourself. “Cheers, Tae.”

He smiles at you over his cup. “Cheers.”

After that, the energy of the party takes over for a while. You let Taeyong pull you out to where people are dancing to Jaehyun’s music. You laugh and let loose and when you spot Johnny, you wave him over. He pulls you close and you don’t mind, knowing that it means nothing when he dances with you because he’s constantly casting glances toward Jaehyun, trying to see if the younger guy is watching.

You dance with Johnny, then when he goes to get another drink, Taeyong takes his place. The feel of his hands on your hips, playing with your hands, his body so close and warm as you laugh together and move to the music sends waves of lust through you. You can feel that memory of his cock in your mouth sneaking its way into your mind again, and it takes everything in you to keep pushing it away.

Taeyong keeps his eyes on your face while you dance together, and you can tell that he sees that fire burning inside of you, the one that sparked to life because of his touch. And suddenly the room is too hot.

You step back and nearly knock into the couple dancing behind you.

“I need a drink.” You tell Taeyong, and then you’re turning and disappearing through the crowd, heading for the kitchen. 

You hear him following you, calling your name, but you keep moving.

Someone’s opened a window in the kitchen and cool air flows in through it, so you step as close as you can and suck in a few mouthfuls, letting it clear the haze of your mind a bit. You fill a cup with water and drain it in seconds, then suck an ice cube into your mouth, hoping the shocking cold of it will help you feel more sober.

You turn around and see Taeyong a few feet away, watching you cautiously out of the corner of his eye. That pretty girl from that one day at lunch is standing in front of him, flipping her hair over her shoulder and smiling. She has a hand on his arm and she’s laughing, and you watch as this girl who must be Tara flirts with him while he keeps watching you.

You roll your eyes. Taeyong complains about not getting laid for a while, but when this girl stands in front of him looking at him like that, he shows such little interest in her.

In the doorway between the kitchen and the hallway, you think you see Johnny walk passed, so you head that way, hoping that you’ll be able to drag him back out to dance or at least convince him to go sit outside with you. You push through the people in the kitchen and step out into the hallway. 

You head away from the main party, walking down the hallway and hoping you’ll find him.

Before you get very far, you hear your name and the sound of footsteps. Taeyong. You slow your pace so he can catch up, but when he does he hip checks you, and when you knock into the wall, Taeyong stands in front of you. His arms come in on either side of your face, and he leans in until his face is just inches away from yours.

“Taeyong.” You wanted your voice to come out hard and warning, but instead it betrays you, sounding far more weak than you’d wanted. You put out your hands and press them to his stomach, fingertips pressed against the thin material over his abdomen. 

“What are you running from?” He asks. “Did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head. “I just got really hot, and then I thought I saw Johnny.”

For a moment, Taeyong stares at you, doing that thing where he searches your face for the truth. The dull thumping of the party’s music comes from the other end of the hallway, and your heartbeat feels like it matches the beat of the music. 

“Do you really not want to ever accept my offer?” Taeyong breathes out, his quiet words almost lost in the noise of the party. “It doesn’t have to mean anything either. It’s just repayment. And because it’s been a while since I got the chance to eat a girl out. I want to see if I’m still any good.”

You twist your fingers in his shirt and tug lightly. “Why don’t you ask that Tara girl if you’re any good?”

Taeyong cocks his head to the side. “Because she wants a relationship. I just want sex.”

“Just sex?” You repeat.

He nods. “That’s all. I’ve even got rules to follow. No kissing, no dates or things that could be misconstrued as dates, and no after-sex cuddles. It ends whenever either person asks for it to end. It’s casual.”

You turn his words over in his mind, still all too aware how close he is to you. The smell of his body spray and the faint scent of alcohol on his breath. The heat of his arms on either side of your face, and the solidness of his body under your fingers. You wish you had another ice cube to suck on because your body is catching fire again.

“Damn it, Taeyong.” You hiss, closing your eyes and dropping your head forward. He shifts back to avoid you accidentally headbutting him. “Alright. I’ll do it. Your persistence has got me horny and honestly, my fingers aren’t cutting it.”

He smiles and takes your hand. “I knew it.” 

You shove at his shoulder. “Let’s go back to the dorms.”

 

o 0 o 

 

The walk back to the dorms is long and chilly. Long enough that you’re certain you’re sober by the time that you reach your building. Chilly enough that Taeyong teases you that you should have left your sweatpants on. He wraps his arm around your shoulders instead, and it doesn’t do much to actually block the wind, but it definitely fills you with heat.

Your roommate is away for the weekend, so you take him to your dorm room, grateful that for once you’ll have privacy.

As soon as the door closes behind you, Taeyong’s already reaching for your waist. “What do you want me to do with you, Y/N?” 

His fingers touch the hem of your dress, brushing over your thighs. You stumble backwards toward your bed, and Taeyong follows, kicking his shoes off beside the door. 

“Let’s just start with you shutting up.” You tell him. You slide onto the bed and start to unwrap Taeyong’s shirt from around you, ready to rid yourself of the dress. But his hand lands on your arm as he sits down on the edge of the bed. 

“Don’t take it off. I like seeing it on you.” 

You pause, then lean back into your pillows. “Alright, Tae. Start repaying me.”

His hands come down to your legs, and you feel a ball of nerves in your belly as he spreads your knees and trails his fingers up your thighs. One thing other than your roommate’s absence that you’re grateful for is that you’d had the foresight to wear some nice panties on the chance that something like this could happen. You would die if you’d had the misfortune of wearing any old, normal pair.

Instead, when Taeyong pushed the edge of you shirt dress up, he found a pretty, silky blue pair. 

Already wet from imagining this moment the whole walk back to the dorms, there’s a wet spot on your panties, which Taeyong wastes no time in touching. Just the simple brush of his fingers over you feels so good, you’re so sensitive. 

“Are you this wet for me?” He asks quietly, pulling his hand away to rest on your thigh. 

You shift your hips on the bed. “I thought I told you to stop talking?”

Taeyong laughs and pushes forward to press his lips against the fabric right over your clit. You hiss, and Taeyong pulls back to look up at your face. “I can take them off?” He asks you, already hooking his fingers in the waistband of your panties. 

You nod and Taeyong slides them down your legs and drops them off to the side. He moves back into place.

“Tell me if what I’m doing isn’t working for you. This is pointless if you’re not enjoying it.” And then he’s flicking his tongue over your clit and sliding a finger through your slickness before pushing it inside you.

“More of that. Please,” You reach down for his hair and push your hips down onto his finger. “Your fingers inside of me will do better than you just teasing my clit.”

Taeyong obeys, sliding a second finger inside of you. He lays his tongue flat over your clit so when you move your hips, you’re pressing onto his fingers and grinding against his tongue. His free hand slides up your body, pushing the shirt up with it until he can grasp your boob, rolling your nipple under his thumb. 

You gasp and roll up into his touch, grinding down on his fingers, moaning when his tongue slides over your clit. With your hands in his hair, you pull him closer, but Taeyong breaks free of your hold. He pulls his mouth down, trailing kisses over your thighs while his fingers crook inside of you, pressing against that spongey spot that makes the world go fuzzy and warm, and then his mouth is back, hot and wet, sucking on your clit.

“Tae, shit!” You gasp, grabbing his shoulders and digging your nails in. “Oh, god, right there.”

He strokes his fingers over your walls and flicks his tongue over your clit, and you roll your hips down into his touch once again before your orgasm crashes over you, flooding through you in waves of pleasure.

Taeyong pumps his fingers, working you through your orgasm as you shudder and moan, scratching your nails over his shoulders. 

It was good. His oral ability definitely hasn’t gone dormant, he doesn’t need to worry about it.

He slides his fingers out of you, and then places kitten licks against your pussy, swirling his tongue around your opening and lapping at your clit until you’re shivering from the sensitivity. You push him away and Taeyong goes easily. He sits back on his heels and wipes the back of his hand over his mouth, staring down at you, still all laid open for him, pretty pink and glistening with his shirt rucked up over your boobs. 

“Consider me repaid.” You tell him, running your fingers through your hair. “But if you want some help with that,” You nod at his lap, and the evidence of an erection straining against his jeans. “Now, I’m definitely ready to go.”

Taeyong hesitates for a moment, his hand drifting down to his lap to palm himself, and then he takes another look at the wetness between your thighs, your boobs, and the hungry look in your eyes. You just want to be filled, and you’ve seen his cock, you know that he can do the job.

“Condoms are in the bottom left drawer on my desk,” You tell him. Taeyong springs off your bed. 

You wrestle your way out of the shirt, now more of a hindrance than anything else, and you’ve just thrown it aside when Taeyong climbs back into the bed, shucking his boxers off. He drops the condom beside you and throws his boxers to the side to join the rest of his clothes. 

With a hand around himself, he watches you tear open the condom packaging and you carefully roll it down his length.

“How do you want me?” You ask. “Missionary? You want me to ride you?”

Taeyong gestures with his chin. “Turn over. Hands and knees.”

You get in the position, and as soon as you’re settled, Taeyong’s hand goes to your hair. You feel him wrapping his hand in it, twisting it around through his fingers, and then he presses his erection against you, rubs the head between your lips and against your clit. 

“We should make this a thing, Y/N. Friends with benefits, right?” He tugs lightly on your hair, pulling your head back toward him. “Use each other whenever we need it, so we don’t have to go looking for sex.” Taeyong presses his cock just barely inside you, just enough that you can feel him, just enough that you want to push back on him.

“Yes,” You moan. 

Taeyong shoves his cock the rest of the way inside of you, releasing your hair so he can put his hands on your hips, dragging you back against him when you bounce off his thrust.  

“This is lame, but I’m not going to last long.” He grunts, and the sound of his skin slapping against yours echoes through the room. “You’re so tight.”

Your walls clench around him and you push back into his thrust, wanting him deeper, wanting him to fill you so good and press against that spot. 

You let out a moan and squeeze around him, falling forward into the pillow. 

Taeyong moans and fills the condom, cock pressed as deeply inside of you as he can go. His hips are pressed flush to yours, and he collapses over you, so his arms support him on either side of your face, and he bends down to press his lips against your ear. A sharp slap against your ass has you moaning and lifting your ass against him.

“Don’t fake it with me, Y/N. There’s no point in this if we aren’t both getting something out of it.” He pushes himself upright again, and with his hand once again tangled in your hair, he pulls you up against him, your back pressed to his chest. “I want to make you cum again.”

And then you’re bouncing on his cock. 

Taeyong releases his hold on your hair so he can use both hands to pleasure you. He rolls you clit between his fingers, whispering in your ear as you drive yourself down on his cock. His other hand is pressed over your heart, massaging your breast, teasing your nipple, pinching and pulling until you’re cumming. Really orgasming this time. 

Only Taeyong’s quick move of wrapping his arms fully around you keeps you from losing your balance. He lowers you to the bed, placing your head carefully on the pillow. He thrusts into you a few more times before he presses his forehead to your shoulder and moans quietly, cumming a second time inside the condom.

He rolls off of you rather quickly, carefully pulling out and taking off the condom, tying it nicely. He lays there for a moment longer, and you listen to the rate of his breathing, the heat of his body so close, and you want to scoot closer and take advantage of his body heat, but you stay where you are.

After another minute or two, Taeyong gets up to dispose of the condom, and you shiver without his body warmth, but he’s already told you his rule: no cuddling after sex to keep it casual. But he notices you’re cold, and when he starts digging around for his discarded boxers, he throws one of your blankets over your legs. You hear him moving around the room and his phone makes a chiming noise.

“What are you doing?” You roll across the bed, kicking at the blanket he put over your legs. Taeyong walks across the room until he’s standing in the far corner, still staring at his phone. “Taeyong, what are you doing?”

He glances up, takes a moment to look down the line of your body, then looks back at his phone. “Playing Pokemon Go. You’ve got a Pokestop right there,” He points at the outside wall. “I was trying to get closer to it.”

“You’re such a geek.” You roll your eyes and sit up, covering your chest when he looks over at you again and smirks when he notices you hiding your body.

“I’ve seen it already. Why are you hiding?” He slides his phone into his pocket. You blush and drop your arms, but you reach for a sweatshirt draped over the headboard and pull it on. Taeyong sits down at your desk and slides his shirt over his head, then drags his pants over to put them on. “Do you want to come back with me? We can play one of the new games I bought earlier this week, and Johnny’s boring when he comes home sad and drunk. I’m wired, I need to do something fun.”

You fold your arms over your chest and watch him. Taeyong definitely seems like he’s buzzing with energy, and while you kind of want to just roll over and go to sleep, his offer of playing video games does sound like fun. And besides, it’s not even later. Only a little after midnight.

“Sure, sounds like fun. But you’re buying me some snacks and a drink at the cafeteria.” You stand up and find a pair of leggings to pull on. “You just made me expend so much energy.”

Taeyong laughs and messes his fingers through his hair. “Whatever you say.”

 

o 0 o

 

 After that, hooking up with Taeyong becomes a pretty regular thing. At least once a week, usually more. It happens when you’re in his dorm room, sneaking in a quick orgasm on his fingers when Johnny leaves to shower, or sucking him off quietly in the rare moments when your roommate leaves the room. You meet up with Taeyong one late morning when he doesn’t have class until after noon, and he fucks you in the communal shower, hand over your mouth to cover your moans. 

You don’t tell anyone what you’re doing with each other, especially not Johnny. 

Johnny has enough going on in his life at the moment. That night at the party, after you and Taeyong snuck off, Johnny got even more drunk, made out with a senior guy in the middle of the party until Jaehyun came over to break it up because Johnny was kinda making a scene. Jaehyun wanted to take care of his friend, so he left the party with Johnny and spent the next few hours driving Johnny around town, talking, and stopping to get them food and coffee to sober him up.

This was all reported to you the next morning when Jaehyun dropped a relatively sober Johnny back off at the dorm. You were running on energy drinks, hands glued to a controller, eyes burned open by the game screen, Taeyong sitting identically beside you. You both probably looked like zombies when Jaehyun helped Johnny through the door.

As soon as Jaehyun left Johnny didn’t stop telling you and Taeyong about his night. He told you that he and Jaehyun watched the sunrise together, which was romantic, and Jaehyun thought he was cute  _and_ funny.

Since then he’d been flip-flopping between ecstatic about what he pretty much considered a date with Jaehyun, and depressed because he wasn’t sure if Jaehyun was even into guys.

He certainly didn’t need the added drama of knowing about you and Taeyong’s friends with benefits relationship. But whether either of you wanted him to find out or not, Johnny did.

He was supposed to be on the radio, so you and Taeyong figured you were in the clear. You were getting close to your period and you were super horny because of the hormones, and Taeyong was more than pleased to help out. 

Taeyong had just shimmied out of his shorts, and you’d just sat up to take his cock into your mouth when the door flew open. 

Johnny stumbles through the door backwards, his attention preoccupied by the fact that he was sucking Jaehyun’s face, and the younger man had his hands down the front of Johnny’s pants. All four of you pause, letting the shock of the moment sink in before everyone blurs into motion.

Jaehyun’s ears and cheeks go bright pink. Johnny takes three steps away from Jaehyun. Taeyong sits down on the edge of the bed and attempts to cover his erection. You roll over and yank Taeyong’s sheets up over your face. 

“Aren’t you both supposed to be on the radio right now?” Taeyong asks, trying to tamp down the shaking in his voice, but you can hear it clearly. “What are you doing here? Also, when the hell did this happen?”

You hear the groaning of Johnny’s bed as he sits down on the mattress. Johnny explains, “Student Government is doing a radio-a-thon or something where people call in and donate money. Jae and I decided to go eat since they didn’t need us, and it turns out he likes me too.” 

You don’t even have to look out from beneath the blankets to known that Johnny’s smiling ridiculously big. You can hear it in his voice. Taeyong shifts on the bed, and then the pillow right above your head is jerked away and you hear him say “I’m happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you and Y/N, too,” Johnny says. “I was wondering when you’d finally get together.”

That gets you to sit upright, pushing the covers away. “We’re not together. This is just  _casual._ Friends with benefits. It’s just sex, like I’m definitely not in love with Taeyong.” You realize that you’d dropped the sheet down your bare chest only when you see Jaehyun’s gaze lower to your boobs. You jerk the sheet up to cover you again, and say, “This  _is_  embarrassing though.”

“So you’re not dating? Just fucking?” Johnny asks at the same time that Jaehyun points at the door and says, “I’m think I’m going to leave.” Johnny grabs his hand and pulls him down to sit on his bed and doesn’t let him up. But he doesn’t look away from you and Taeyong either. 

Taeyong glances over his shoulder at you, then he looks back at Johnny. “Don’t you think we’d tell you if this was anything real? It’s just stress relief. A way to get off that’s not hard to find and that’s not just masturbating.” You nod behind him, and Johnny frowns. “Johnny, it’s not like we’re really trying to hide it from you. It’s just not important.”

And then you’re frowning at the back of Taeyong’s head. Not important? You may just be fucking around with each other, but you never thought it wasn’t important. Taeyong is your best friend, and you thought you meant something to him too. But  _not important?_

You lean over the bed, trying to grab your shirt without showing off any more of your skin. You tug your shirt on and then kick the covers away. 

“I’m leaving.” 

“Where are you going?” Taeyong asks, his face falling as he watches you move around the room and gather the rest of your clothes up. 

You look up from where you’re trying to pick your socks up off the floor. “Seriously? Did you think I’d stay here and have sex when Johnny and Jaehyun are right there?” You flick your gaze over at the two of them. Johnny’s stroking his fingers over the back of Jaehyun’s hand, and Jaehyun’s got a concerned look on his face as he whispers something to Johnny. “It’s getting late anyway and I have an essay I should be finishing up.”

You slip your shorts up your legs and jam your feet into your shoes. 

“I thought you could at least stay and play–” Taeyong starts to say, but you cut him off.

“I have more important things to do than that, Tae.” You run your fingers through your hair and walk towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow or the day after. Later, Johnny. Nice meeting you, Jaehyun. Sorry I can’t stay around to chat.” 

And then you’re gone. 

 

o 0 o

 

For the next week, you barely see Taeyong. Just in passing on campus. It’s not that you’re mad at him necessarily, that all faded a few hours after you left the dorm room. You’re just upset and hurt, a bit offended that he called you having sex not important. And you know that he didn’t mean it the way you’re taking it probably, but it hurts all the same. 

For the first time in three years, you don’t go over to his and Johnny’s room that weekend. You get a missed call and a text reading:

_from taeyong: I’ve got take out and cheat codes to help you beat that level if you want to come over and try it again_

and when you don’t respond, you get a text from Johnny. It’s just a picture of a cute, sad puppy. Nothing else, just that.

The next day you meet up with Johnny for dinner before he goes to the radio station. You pick at your food and roll your eyes when his phone goes off with a text or a Snapchat from Jaehyun every minute. You’re happy that he finally got the cute boy of his dreams, but you’re just in a mood and you know it, but that doesn’t mean you can change it.

“You’re both being so annoying,” Johnny says after about ten minutes. He stabs his fork into his food. “Both you and Taeyong are being moody assholes, and you need to get over it. I know you’re mad at him because of what he said when Jae and I walked in on you. For the record, both of us told him that he’d been a little bit of a dick, but it’s been a week. I’m tired of you not coming over to the room. 

“And every time I’m there, Tae’s just sitting in his bed playing games on his phone or on his laptop or the TV. He hasn’t surfaced all week, I’m not sure where he’s peeing or if he’s showered. It’s gross and it’s because you haven’t talked to him. So, please, fix him. If not for his sake then for mine because I can’t stand it any longer.” Johnny stares at you for a moment longer.

You sigh and push your plate away completely. 

Quietly, Johnny asks you, “Is it because you like him?”

You frown. “No, okay. He came to me for sex first.” You think back to that first night when you gave him the blowjob. “Well, sort of. It’s complicated, Johnny. But there’s no feelings involved, not from me. I’m not in love with him, I just love him as my best friend who I have sex with sometimes. And it doesn’t have to be more. But when he said that what we were doing wasn’t important, I just felt hurt, and he’s made no effort to apologize.”

“So you just want him to apologize? Then things will be good again?” 

You nod, although you’re not even sure if that’s entirely true. 

Johnny sighs and leans back in his chair with a smile. “So now that that’s over, do you want to talk about it? I’ve always been a little bit curious?”

“What, do you mean Taeyong’s dick?” You ask, feeling a smile growing on your lips. “Or just the sex?”

He leans forward again, grinning conspiratorially, “Whatever you want to tell me about.”

 

o 0 o

 

The next time you see Taeyong is on a Wednesday, exactly two weeks after you last spoke to him. To be honest, you’d begun wondering if Johnny had passed on the message that you just wanted Taeyong to apologize. If he hadn’t you were going to shout at him because two days had passed since you and Johnny talked. And now more than ever you wanted Taeyong.

You were so horny. Just the simpleness of seeing Taeyong at a distance on campus had you throbbing, imagining his tongue between your folds, his fingers sliding into you and stretching you open. You were going mad with desire, and if he didn’t come apologize soon you were going to go looking for dick elsewhere.

You text Johnny that warning, and he must have relayed that message because not even two hours later, you see Taeyong again. 

He’s on the wrong side of campus to be heading to his class. He struts down the hallway, turning heads because he’s got the face of an angel but it’s painted in anger. As soon as he spots you, his anger seemingly intensifies and he heads straight for you.

“Tae, what are you doing here?” You ask when he’s within earshot.

Nothing changes on his expression. You would almost think that he hadn’t heard you. Taeyong’s arm grips your wrist, sliding down to lace your fingers together, and he keeps walking, leading you in the opposite direction from where you were going. 

He leads you down the hallway, through another and another until you’re deep inside the building. 

You jerk on his arm. “Taeyong, where are we going?”

It’s then that he pulls you sideways through a door. A bathroom. Taeyong releases your arm and starts checking under the stall doors. When he finds them all empty, he returns to stand in front of you, a few feet apart. He presses his back against the wall, folds his arms over his chest, and stares at you. You face him with your back against the row of sinks.

And at last, he speaks. “Johnny said you want me to apologize.”

You nod. 

“Johnny also said you told him that if I don’t apologize, you’re going to go fuck someone else.” He narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t you know you can’t do that?”

You lift your chin. “Don’t you remember your own rules? As soon as either person wants to end this, wants to see other people, it’s over.” You press your palms against the cool surface of the sink. “Well, it’s over. You’ve taken too long to apologize and I’m over this.”

Taeyong takes a frustrated step forward. “You can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

He clenches his fists at his sides and turns away for a moment. He doesn’t move, but you can see how tense he is, every muscle in his back wound up with pent up energy. 

“Why?” That one word forces its way out and then the rest come spilling after. “Why can’t I decide that I don’t want to be your fuckbuddy anymore? Why can’t I decide that I don’t want you to tell me that I’m not important to you? Why can’t I want to go find someone else who knows what they’re doing, someone who will kiss me, who will do everything you did but better and with no regrets?”

Taeyong spins around and closes the distance between you. His hands come up to cup your face and he crushes his mouth against yours. It takes a moment, a flat-lined head-buzzy stunned moment for you to kiss him back, for you to touch your hands to his forearms, for you to open your mouth to his kiss.

He’s kissing you and you’re kissing him. After everything you’ve done together, this should be nothing. 

Still, you feel your body filling with heat, a soft glowing feeling rushing through your veins. As his tongue slides against yours and his fingers push into your hair, you moan and want to be closer. 

You drop your hands to his belt buckle and get to work, unfastening it and then pushing his pants down. Your mouths part for a moment when Taeyong gasps at the feel of your hand brushing against his cock, but then he’s pushing his mouth over yours again, biting your bottom lip just to hear you whine. You spread your legs and he drops his hands to rest on either side of your hips, he shifts forward between your thighs.

“God bless skirts,” he says, and you want to laugh, but you kiss him again instead, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth and then sucking on it. Taeyong’s hands dive under your skirt, touching you over your panties, finding you wet when he pushes the fabric aside, and he teases you by saying, “Have you missed me that much?”

You lean away when he goes to kiss you. “It’s not too late for me to go find someone else. Mind your tongue or I’ll find someone who won’t talk back to me.” 

Taeyong retaliates by sliding his fingers into you. He grins as you moan, so tight around him, warm and wet. Not that he’ll tell you, but he’s missed that feeling just as much as you have. He pecks the corner of your mouth. “You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

And you know he’s right.

“I want you inside me.” You wrap your arms around the back of his neck, and Taeyong looks up from his fingers disappearing under your skirt. His eyes are sharp and full of lust, but for a moment they look soft and needy as he measures the level of desire in your eyes. 

“I don’t have a condom,” He says, and his fingers falter inside of you. “Fuck, I want to, though.”

You lean forward and capture his lips, silencing him for a moment. It’s nice kissing him, soft with just a little bite of lust. You scratch your fingers lightly over the back of his neck, and when he makes a quiet moan, you break the kiss.

“Just this once.” You tell him. “Just this once, you can cum inside of me without the condom.” 

He wastes no more time getting his dick out, his hands on your thighs spread them further apart, and you twist your arms around his shoulders. Taeyong moves slow when he pushes into you, stretching you open on his cock like you haven’t had in two weeks. You’ve missed that. The familiarity of him inside you, his thumb gravitating toward your clit when he bottoms out, fully sheathed inside of you.

“Oh, God.” You whine.

“I love that sound,” Taeyong laughs, pulling back just enough that he can push inside you again and hear you make the sound once more. His thumb slides in circles over your clit and he fucks into you, using his one hand to press your legs apart as he hurriedly picks up the pace, hips slapping against you. 

You hold him close, and when he shifts just right and his cock hits against that spot that fills you with pleasure, you bite down on his shoulder. Taeyong grunts and doubles his efforts, pulling you into a sloppy kiss.

“Cum for me, sweetheart.” He growls against your lips. “I want you to cum.”

And you do because he asks you to, because his tongue in your mouth and his thumb on your clit, his cock gliding right over your G-spot, all sends you over the edge. You bite down on his shoulder again to stifle your moans as you quake and pulse around him, your walls pulling him in deeper.

Taeyong grunts and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you as tight against him as possible, and his hips jerk forward as he empties himself inside of you. His cum is warm inside you and you make a contented noise, curling your legs around his hips to keep him there.

His heart races against yours, and you tilt your head to the side on his shoulder, letting your eyes drift closed so all you have to anchor you there is the sound of his heart, the heat of his body, the feel of his arms holding you just as tightly as you’re holding him.

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong says after a few moments. “I’m sorry for what I said that night about this not being important. I was just trying to get him to stop looking at us like that, so I panicked and said that, which is so far from the truth.

“You  _are_ important to me, Y/N.” He kisses your hair. “I never want you to think that you aren’t.”

Distantly, you hear the squeak of shoes on tile, of voices echoing in the hallway outside. You sigh and push your face against his shoulder. You’d be happy with never moving, just staying wrapped together (because  _goddamnit_ Johnny was right about the feelings). 

“We should probably go before someone walks in and finds us like this.” You murmur, but you make no move to leave. “And you should take your cock out of me.”

Taeyong holds you tighter. “But this feels nice. I fucking missed you.”

You hide your smile in his shoulder. “I missed you too, you dork.” 

 

o 0 o

 

The end of the semester and the start of summer rolls closer and closer, slowly eating the days until suddenly, all at once, there it is.

Finals week largely consisted of you and Taeyong fucking between studying for exams and taking the exams. Stress relief at its finest. A wonderful distraction from any worries about exams or final papers, from summer jobs or lack thereof, from the feelings you’ve been catching more and more over the last few weeks. 

You try to forget the way that Taeyong’s smile and silly faces make you want to laugh. You try to ignore the racing of your heart when you watch his fingers racing over keyboards or video game controls. You want to completely erase the fact that when you dream, more often than not it’s about Taeyong, and when you daydream about a future, you see him beside you. You try to lose all of that by fucking him until you’re exhausted, but you still want more because he’s Taeyong and you love him, every dumb and silly part of him.

You love him because he’s the first person you see after you get out of your last exam one evening. 

Taeyong’s sitting in the hall outside of your class, his tongue sticking out between his lips in determination as he concentrates on his phone, playing some game that he likes to tell you about when you’re laying there together after sex. He’s got two drinks and a small cupcake box sitting beside him, and when you stop in front of him, Taeyong looks up at you with a bright smile.

“How’d you do?” He slides his phone out of sight, and grabs one of the drinks to pass it up to you. “I’m sure you did great. And I got this cupcake for you. It’s your favorite flavor, and I saw it sitting there in the case when I bought these, so I thought of you. I figured, it’s either a celebration or a sympathy cupcake, but either way it’ll taste good.”

You accept the cupcake from him and have to quell down the hot air balloon trying to take flight in your chest. The cupcake is such a simple thing, a small gesture, but you’re reminded again that you love him. And he still doesn’t know.

“Taeyong, I want to–”

He stands up suddenly and takes your hand, starts walking off with you coming along quickly beside him. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going now? Another bathroom?” You tease. 

Taeyong smirks over at you, “We could if you wanted to, but that’s not what I had in mind.” 

He leads you out of the building as the sun sets over the campus, casting long blue shadows. In the distance, at the center of campus, you can hear the echo of music, and between the buildings you see the flicker light of the end of semester bonfire. Taeyong holds your hand tighter and leads you toward it. 

Professors and students alike gather on the green at the center of campus. A table is weighed down with food, getting lighter every minute, as hungry students fill plates with free food. Jaehyun and Johnny stand on a small stage, arms around each others shoulders, talking into microphones and looking out over the crowd. 

Taeyong comes to a stop, and it’s only when you’ve gone a step too far that you realize he’s no longer walking. He gestures over to one of dozens of blankets laid out on the ground a safe distance back from the bonfire, and you sit down with him, close enough that your knees are touching. 

He doesn’t let go of your hand, but rests it on his knee. And you watch him, feeling your pulse pick up speed each time that his thumb moves against the back of your hand. The orange firelight plays shadows across his face, and for once Taeyong seems serious and nervous as he starts fiddling with your fingers. 

“Tae, what’s up?” You ask quietly.

He looks up, lets his gaze flicker past you, and then he’s gazing into your eyes. He licks his bottom lip and then says, “I’m in love with you. Which is stupid because starting out I was the one who said no feelings should be involved, but if I’m being honest, it’s been a lie from the start. I was probably in love with you before that first night. I’ve probably been in love with you since you fell into my lap at freshman orientation. I understand if you want to stop this all now, like I really, really don’t want to lose you, but you didn’t sign on for feelings.”

That hot air balloon in your chest from earlier expands again, and this time you don’t bother trying to stop it. You let the fire go and lift your heart.

You giggle and then you’re laughing and Taeyong’s frowning and half-smiling because he’s confused. But then you climb into his lap and take his face between your hands. 

“Lee Taeyong, you’re a fool if you think that I’m not also one hundred percent, totally in love with you too.” You tell him.

And when your lips meet his, you can no longer tell what is the burning heat of your emotions flooding through your veins and what is the heat of the bonfire, the crackling and licking of the flames is drowned out by the thundering of your heart as Taeyong wraps his arms around your hips and kisses you back with equal fervor.

Neither of you pay much attention to the whistling and cheering as two DJs on a stage notice the couple confessing their love by the bonfire. Johnny and Jaehyun encourage the entire crowd to chant your names and until you tuck your face into Taeyong’s chest, embarrassed but happy. So, so happy.

[The End]

 

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: so I’m considering maybe writing a bit about the johnjae relationship here in another short fic (shorter than this one anyway, closer to the normal length) if anyone would be interested in that


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